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I Despised My Hair Before I Grew Locs
As Black women, we learn early on that our hair journeys are unique. We note that our texture is more kinky and curly than the others, and as young girls, we quickly notice who amongst us has long hair and who doesn’t. These things are important to us even at a young age, not necessarily because they need to be but because society has said that these beauty standards matter.
For as long as I could remember, I struggled with hair retention. In other words, my hair was short and it stayed short. I had “bad hair”, and my sisters did not. My mother made sure to ridicule my hair each time I sat between her legs. “You got your hair from your father’s side of the family”, she’d say. Then she’d send me off to get a texturizer, finger waves, and any other style that would make her life “easier”. I’m not sure if she ever stopped to think about what her comments did to me, and how they shaped the negative views that I had about my natural hair. So as soon as I had the freedom to pick my own hairstyles, I’d choose anything that would hide my hair. Braids, sew-ins, marley twist, long weave ponytails, and any style that would keep the length and texture of my hair away from the public eye.
Like many of us, I attempted life as a loose natural. I was obsessed with the movement, but just not confident enough to rock my curls. Despite my studies at YouTube University, my…
